FEEL THE PAIN WEEK #10
Guest writer Rat – Owner, GM, President of the Fort Myers Manatee
Giant Killers
Manatee – Any herbivorous aquatic mammals of the genus Trichechus, having paddlelike front flippers and a horizontally
flattenedtail found in warm coastal waters……Doesn’t sound very ferocious now does it? But the Manatee is playing with a rabid vengeance.
Sweeping their way back in the playoff hunt by beating another division leader. This week it’s the Bandits (isn’t that the dog from Jonny Quest?)
who fall to the Manatee 113-71. The Manatee ride another big week from TE Jason Witten who posts a ridiculous 30, along
with a 24 from the Pittsburgh DEF. Also contributing were Emmit Smith with 2 more touchdowns for 14 points.
Coach Dotson got nice weeks from his WR and TE but it just wasn’t enough. But the Bandits are in the playoffs and they are praying
the mighty Manatee is left out. So is the rest of league for that fact!!!
ELEPHANTS ROLE
The Elephants (not as cute as Dumbo, but maybe just as smart) are another team trying to climb back into the
playoff picture. They made a big step in the right Direction with 115-62 stomping of the Wapati. Not only was
that high score for the week, but took over the high score for the year, previously held by the Wapati. The
Elephants had three players who scored over 20 points, which was enough to beat the Wapati’s entire team. The
Wapati (did you guys know we have been spelling Wapiti wrong all these years? Elk would be easier) got 24 from
Farve and 11 from Carney but the rest of the stinking elk did nothing. The Wapiti hold the 7th playoff spot, and
need to keep winning to hold it. The Dumbo’s are 2 points back and gaining.
PAIN MAULED
The Maulers continue to work their way to another title posting yet another 100 point game. (Still not enough to
beat the Manatee) This time it came at the expense of the Pain with a 103-70 beating. The Maulers rode a 26
from the New England DEF and the rest of the team was pretty balanced. The Pain had nice days from the
Baltimore DEF, and Brooks of NO. But in the end it wasn’t enough. Not only did coach Maze lose, but he failed
to make the top 8. It could be costly seeing how he holds that last playoff spot. With the Manatees and the
Elephants charging hard, the Pain better dish some out and stop inflicting it on themselves.
PUPPY STYLE
1-9? How is it possible to only win one game? Mind boggling! Well the Doggy Style are looking like a one win
wonder this year. Seems to me they are getting it doggy style! The Contributors are the recent benefactors of a
win with an 82-62 victory. The addition of stokely has been nice as he scored 24. But Harrington going -2, well
that hurts! Meanwhile the Contributors improve to 7-3 and will easily make the playoffs. Of course when
Culpepper scores 24 and Clark scores 23, you should win. So now the dogs are getting ready for next season.
Rumor has it coach Tyler maybe ready to make a coaching change. I hear that Lou Holtz is available.
DEATH UPSET PRIDE
The Death showed signs of life this weekend with a win over the Pride 84-71. The death had a nice 18 from
Delhomme in an off week pickup, as well as his receivers Burleson and Horn with 18 and 19 respectively. The
Pride got a silly 33 from that brash, arrogant, pompous, abrasive, and all around asshole Terrell Owens. Even
with the loss the Pride hold the 6th playoff spot. But they need to get back on the winning track next week as
many teams are making a playoff run. The death is looking forward to maybe winning a couple of Scrub Bowl games.
MACHINE SPUTTER
The Machine continue to struggle (like that’s a surprise, my 91 Taurus with a bad main bearing ran better then
this team) as they drop another mark in the loss column 56-43 to the Destroyers. The only bright spot for
the Machine was Crumplers 18, but the rest of the team needs an overhaul. Although the Destroyers got the
win, it was not that impressive. They only had 3 players score in double digits and one of those was a
Dallas Cowboy!! But hey a wins a win, and that’s good enough to hold the number 5 playoff spot through week ten.
FILIRICANS BOUNCE BACK
After a huge loss to those lovable Manatee last week, the Filiricans get back in the win column with a 75-60 win
over the Gangreen. The Ricans got another nice game from the surprise pick of the year Tiki Barber who had
16. Blaylock pitched in a nice 16 subbing for injured Holmes. The Green got nice days from McAllister,
17. Bettis, Shockey, and the Jax DEF. But when your 2 starting receivers post EGGS, you are gonna get fried.
18. The filiricans have a hold on the number one spot, but the bandits are still close. Coach Martinez and
19. Santos feel they are the team to beat, and with good reason. So I told them, “I did!”
WHO CARES
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. That’s right this was the battle for last place. The Fish and the Beach Bums butting
heads to see who…well to see that no matter what, they will both still be in last. The Bums win the game
75-38. Peyton Manning is the NFL MVP, and he should be the fantasy MVP. Manning posted a gaudy 29,
75-39. and Barlow and the Cincy DEF post a combined 30 to lead the way. The Fish get a nice 23 from 75-40. Davis, but the rest of the
team combined for 15. These 2 teams may be the first teams to qualify 75-41. for the Scrub Bowl. Congrats boys!!!
PREVIOUS EDITIONS OF
THE COMMISH'S CORNER:
CLICK ON LINK TO VIEW THAT WEEK'S REPORT